Dirty Christmas Carols

Spice up the holidays with some naughty little tunes.

"Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg..." may be the kind of dirty Christmas carol a kid sings during the holidays. But, the inner mischievous child in many people likes to come out during the season, perhaps as a rebellion against all of the cheerful good tidings! Or maybe more people simply find humor in recreating classic carols with naughty undertones. Whatever the reason, larger audiences are finding explicit holiday tunes top note on their playlists.

Collecting Crude Christmas Carols

Rude, crude, and lewd carols are commonly available these days. Comedians often put out hilarious CDs with parodies of tunes that contain dirty and funny Christmas lyrics. To find them, simply check for favorite comedian soundtracks throughout the Christmas season.

Naughty carols are out there, too. If like-minded friends are not forwarding links or lyrics, a number of other mediums provide ample selections of dirty tunes. From websites with mp3 downloads to blogs to entire compilation compact discs, the dirtiest humor will come to light with a little searching. Some places to seek out dirty carols include:

  • Loony Music Cartoons: Find original songs and parodies of holiday classics, such as "Santa, Bring Me Boobies" and "Have a Naughty XXXmas".
  • Pull My Finger: Jingle Smells: Bathroom humor takes on a whole new meaning in this CD of Christmas songs.
  • Online Radio or Blogs: Seek out dirty tunes by looking up your favorite shock-jocks online. Archived shows often provide hilarious tunes. One explicit example would be the BlogTalkRadio archived show done by Olivia W from November 11, 2007 called The 12 (Dirty) Songs of Christmas. Search for it at blogtalkradio. (Warning: this broadcast contains explicit lyrics, not family- or work- friendly.)
  • Sleighed: Other Side of Christmas: This CD comes with an "explicit lyrics" warning label, as it showcases some rather dirty Christmas lyrics by some very famous bands-Sonic Youth, Beck, and Spinal Tap, to name a few.
  • Streaming Video/Music Sites: Simply enter a search criterion such as "naughty Christmas songs" into a website like YouTube and a laundry list of dirty video or music will be available for viewing pleasure.

Additionally, mp3 download websites may have songs listed for purchase or available for free listening. Radio personalities may also re-write holiday songs to suit their particular audiences, so check their station's website for lyrics and tunes.

Santacon Carol Book

The Santacon Carol Book is produced by members of the Santarchy & Santacon tribes, which arose out of a mischievous group, The Cacophony Society. The carol book contains over 40 hilarious and naughty Christmas tunes to enjoy.

The downloadable PDF booklet contains holiday hits like:

  • "Away on a Bender"
  • "O Come All Ye Perverts"
  • "Police Nabbed My Dad"
  • "Rudolph the Red Nosed Raver"
  • "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear"
  • "Wreck the Halls"

Tips for Enjoying Dirty Christmas Carols

While some people may find dirty Christmas carols hilarious, others may find them offensive or disgusting. Avoid playing dirty tunes around the following people or in the following situations:

The best time to enjoy tunes is when sharing rides or drinks with friends who have the same Christmas humor as you do. Finding friends or family members who can appreciate the same jokes during a stressful a time as the Christmas season is not only a fun outlet for listening to naughty carols, but also a way to relax and enjoy the season in a different way.

Dirty Christmas Carols